Tag Archives: learning

50 Things

Posted in DPChallenge by

A friend recently told me about her high school principal and two key pieces of advice she imparted to the graduating class:

  1. Always maintain your own bank account.
  2. Have a filing cabinet.

Hmm. 

It did get me thinking about the good and bad advice I have been given (such as when my mother told me to say “I’ll think about it” to any and all proposals of marriage) and what I would like to share with my children. I decided to start a list.

My list does not cover great big moral issues – that is what I am trying to get through to them on a day-to-day basis. My list consists of a bunch of random things (that I think I know) that I want to make sure I cover with my daughters at some point. Here is my list so far:

  1. Listen to music as often as you can.
  2. Do not ever, under any circumstances, try to take Spanx off over your head.
  3. Do not buy shoes that hurt you no matter how much you love them.
  4. Do not stay with a partner that hurts you, no matter how much you love them.
  5. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  6. Whatever job you have, be it cleaning toilets or running a country, do it to the very best of your ability every single day.
  7. Learn to drive as soon as possible.
  8. Sit up straight!
  9. Vote. Even if your side is ‘guaranteed’ to win. Or lose.
  10. Volunteer.
  11. Say ‘no’ when ‘no’ is what you want to say.
  12. Skip the tattoos.
  13. Or don’t. But don’t get a dolphin or anyone’s name. Or anything on your neck or chest.
  14. Do not put olive pits in the garbage disposal – they are nature’s bullets.
  15. Mind your own manners but let other people worry about theirs.
  16. Use your manners to make people feel comfortable not inferior.
  17. Learn to cook.
  18. Don’t eat and walk. Or drive.
  19. Actively contribute to your friends’ success – show up to the book launch, re-Tweet that Tweet, run the charity run, help make a connection, whatever is needed.
  20. Always RSVP in a timely manner.
  21. Be a great tipper. Especially for breakfast.
  22. Do not buy gossip magazines.*
  23. Say ‘thank you’ (and mean it) to everyone who helps you in even the smallest way.
  24. Don’t jay walk.
  25. If someone tells you that they are a jerk, you should believe them.
  26. Do not go to work or school when you are sick. People will not be awed by your heroics.
  27. Don’t make assumptions about people based on anything other than what they actually say or do.
  28. Just because everyone believes something doesn’t make it true. Think for yourself.
  29. Send thank you notes (or emails) whenever there is a reason.
  30. Floss. Every day.
  31. Eat breakfast.
  32. Don’t waste your time on pastries that aren’t fantastic. If you bite into a disappointing croissant, leave it.
  33. Only butter is butter. There are no substitutes.
  34. Save or invest 10% of your income.
  35. Keep a mini pack of tissues, and a wet wipe or two in your car and purse.
  36. Negotiate your employment terms. Always. Don’t just accept the first offer.
  37. Always ask for a better deal – more often than not, you will get one.
  38. Never buy peaches or corn out of season.
  39. Wear sunscreen and a hat.
  40. Open all crinkly candy wrappers BEFORE the movie starts.
  41. Do not take your phone out at dinner.
  42. Do not text and drive. You can park and text.
  43. Say ‘yes’ when someone asks you to dance (unless you hate them).
  44. If you aren’t sure what to get at a restaurant, order the Special.
  45. Be brave but not stupid.
  46. Stay informed.
  47. Stick up for other women.
  48. Less is more when it comes to make up and eyebrow plucking.
  49. Don’t participate in phone surveys.
  50. Never buy any clothing unless you love it. Even a white t-shirt. Or a too-good-to-be-true sale thing. You have to love it!!**

 

* Read them for free at the hairdresser.

**Courtesy of my step-mother who follows this excellent advice much more consistently than I do.

This is just a starter list. There are so many little things that I’d love for my girls to learn the easy way.

What else should be on here? Please share your thoughts!

 

 

<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fifty/">Fifty</a>

 

The Wild Life – Part 1

Posted in Random Stories by

When we bought our house in downtown Toronto, the wild-life I envisioned had more to do with the early throes of romantic love and the total freedom of my life at the time than the creatures that live nearby. I certainly never thought about animals.

We were thrilled to have our house – excited to the point of being keen to do yard work. As soon as the weather was nice enough, we hit the nursery to buy pretty things for our garden.

Our yard is tiny (average living room size) so once we had flowers, making it beautiful did not take long. I had been warned by my mother, an avid gardener and something of a squirrel specialist, that squirrels can be a threat to plants and added a healthy dose of bone meal to the soil to deter them.

Within hours, my husband and I were relaxing in a flowery paradise, toasting each other with wine, extremely pleased with ourselves.

I now realize that the squirrels were most likely watching and licking their twitchy little lips because the next morning, we discovered that they had feasted like, well, animals, on our gorgeous display.

I called my mother.

She suggested that we try again but make our flowers less delicious. She told me to sprinkle cayenne pepper all over the new plants and that once the puffy-tailed rats got a fiery taste of what we were serving, word would spread and our garden would be safe.

We returned to the nursery, bought new plants for the yard, and added a couple of nice hanging baskets for the deck outside our bedroom.

Ever so slightly less cheerfully than the day before, we planted our plants and hung our baskets. Again, we celebrated with cocktails and enjoyed the evening in our yard.

I was brushing my teeth when I remembered about the cayenne.

I ran downstairs, grabbed the spice and went outside.

It was dark but I could see well enough as I liberally seasoned the flowers. It took the whole bag but it was worth it.

I went to bed confident that my garden was safe.

Other than an obnoxious squeal outside our window (that in hindsight sounded a lot like ‘WoooooHoooooo!’), that stirred us briefly, we slept like logs.

The next morning, we opened the drapes, ready to admire our pretty hanging baskets but found them scattered on the deck, crushed petals and dirt sprinkled all around like they had been attacked.

“How did that happen?” we asked each other.

We walked out – picking our way around the plant destruction – and looked over the railing of our balcony to check on our yard two storeys below. We were pleased to see that our plants were still there.

That was when we noticed the smell.

“Wow!” said my husband. “Someone is cooking up a feast and it’s making me hungry. Let’s go for brunch and deal with this mess later.”

As we went downstairs, the cooking odour got stronger.

Curry.

A lot of curry.

Then curry overload.

I went to the spice drawer and opened it. A bag of Cayenne sat on top. Missing was the very similar looking bag of Curry Powder.


Chris Falt / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

I had dumped the entire bag in our yard.

As it turned out, we could smell our house from three blocks away. But, as it also turned out: squirrels do not enjoy curry (at least not in massive quantities). Our garden was temporarily protected.

The smell lasted about four days and our plants survived a little longer than that.

I called it a draw.

I didn’t know that this was just the beginning – that nature was at our doorstep, in our garden, and on our deck and that it would drive us to near madness. I had no idea that we would soon find out what had destroyed our hanging baskets. Or that I would eventually know more than I could ever hope to forget about raccoons and their love lives, or that I would learn the difference between a Shanghai King Rat and a Possum.

All I knew then was that we were out of curry.

The road to hell…

Posted in Random Stories, Scary Things by

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions but  I can tell you that it is actually paved with asphalt and good intentions and the occasional unfortunate squirrel.

I know because I went there today.

Hell(lite) is the drive test centre in Etobicoke where I had to go to take my ‘G’ road test.

It is at the end of an ugly strip mall in an ugly, industrial corner of suburbia and, as predicted by AC/DC, I had to take a highway to get there.

I pulled into ‘hell’ a few minutes early and spent these extra minutes straightening my vehicle perfectly in its space (I had come in slightly diagonal and didn’t want to risk a poor first impression).


nathangibbs / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

Then I went inside where I handed over my paperwork to a surprisingly friendly lady and told her I was ready to be judged.

Daylight doesn’t make it all the way into the test centre office and the low t-bar ceiling and florescent lighting don’t do much to brighten the space up. The humiliation of those who have tried and failed to pass the many levels of driver certification floats in the dusty air. Tears have stained the threadbare greige carpet, and I could hear the faintest echo of anguished howls of teens who still require adult supervision on the road. The folks that work there seem quite pleasant, but the place is gray and tinged with despair.

But I may have been projecting…..

I’d been preparing for this day for weeks, years really.

It was time.

I was sent back to my car to wait.

As I waited I thought through what I had read about the ‘G’ test online:

  • According to some guy on the internet who sounds like he knows, I should PRAY not to get a yellow light – that is an automatic fail because apparently, there is nothing you can do that is right when that happens (while this seems like questionable internet advice, along the lines of when I became convinced that my last cold was actually malaria, I had taken it to heart and was really hoping not to get a yellow). I am not a religious woman so instead of praying, I tried to sort of spiritually wish for no yellow.
  • Remember to use the parking brake on the roadside stop. OR FAIL.
  • Make dramatic head movements to demonstrate mirror and shoulder checks – I have been practicing this all week and my children have noticed and commented. They think it is weird and that is saying a lot coming from a seven and four year old. Anyway, it is always better to look like a weirdo than to fail.
  • Stay in the right hand lane NO MATTER WHAT! OR FAIL.
  • Plus all the stuff that was actually in the handbook.

It seemed like forever but was about ten minutes before my test guy came to the car.

The test passed in a blur (within the speed limit of course) and I did get a yellow but, fortunately, contrary to the dire internet predictions, I was not ‘totally screwed’. I also curbed it on my parallel park (just a kiss really) but other than that, the test went well and I passed.

I passed!!

“See you when you’re eighty!” my favourite driving tester in the world said, congratulating me on becoming a fully legal driver.

I am dreading it already.

Driving Ambition

Posted in Random Stories, Scary Things by

Very high levels of caution generally don’t make for a full or interesting life, so I have fought my inner scaredy-cat for as long as I can remember.

I haven’t grown into some jaywalking, craps playing, skydiver but, with great effort, I have braved up over the years.

Over the past ten years I’ve married, been sliced open three times, started a new career, and taken on a whole new level of worrying by becoming a parent (technically related to the getting sliced up in an ongoing way). But the scariest thing I’ve done as an adult so far is learn to drive.

In a fit of birthday self-improvement in my early thirties (aka quite a while ago), I decided to finally learn how to drive. I was scared to drive, or more accurately, scared to crash, but I was tired of being afraid, and utterly fed up at not being able to do something that most of the adult population takes for granted.

I bought a package of lessons from Young Drivers of Canada (yes, the age jokes were never-ending but I persisted) and went and got my G1 (in Ontario, there is graduated licensing: G1, G2 and finally ‘G’ – the full you-know-your-stuff-and-are-permanently-licensed one – you must take a test to pass each level to get fully licensed).

For my first lesson, my teacher took me to a quiet street, got out of the car and motioned for me to get in the driver’s seat. She told me to put my foot on the brake. I needed more instruction. Which one was the brake?

The next lesson, the instructor picked me up at my building near a very busy intersection. Again, she told me to take the driver’s seat.

“Don’t panic.” She instructed. “Just signal and pull out.”

Like it was that easy!

I turned on the car, foot on the brake (progress!) and flicked the signal-thingy. My mouth was full of dry terror and I could feel my pulse fluttering in my neck.

“Okay,” said the instructor after twenty minutes of signalling. “Maybe we need to ease in a bit more…”

We switched seats and went back to the quiet street.

“I’m PANICKING!” I shouted, a few lessons later as I hurtled down a main street at approximately 9 kilometers an hour and an elderly woman started to lurch her way across the road, dragging her shopping cart behind her. I thought I might throw up.

After the big freak out/near killing of the old lady, I decided to take a break from my lessons.

I had many excellent reasons:

  • Driving is bad for the environment.
  • I couldn’t actually afford a vehicle so what was the point?
  • I was staying fit by walking everywhere.

But the truth was, I was afraid and I excused myself from trying.

For a while.

Okay, for a few years.

Eventually, I decided to finish the lessons.

I restarted the lesson package I had abandoned midway through although I had to pay the difference in pricing due to inflation.

I was more motivated this time (I had a baby on the way and a car that I could drive once licensed) so I swallowed my nerves and quickly got to the point where I started to not completely hate driving.

As part of the program, I attended two full days of classroom lessons where I was the only non-teen.

Some of the questions posed by my fellow driving school students are permanently burned on my  brain:

‘If you are going along a windy one-lane cliff road and a truck is coming right at you is it better to hit the truck or go off the cliff?’

‘Is a deer a stationary object? I mean, like, if it’s standing still?’

Camera Slayer / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

I was scared again. My young class-mates would be sharing the road.

But I kept going. I passed my G2 and started driving more.

I practiced a lot and even invented a style I called ‘Elegant Driving’ (this driving style features smooth gliding stops, excellent etiquette to other drivers etc). I tried to share some pointers on this style with my husband but he wasn’t receptive.

I had a couple of not so elegant, minor scrapes against the wall of our garage but otherwise continued to improve.

Time passed, as it does (long days, short years), and now I cannot imagine not knowing how to drive. And though I still aim for smooth fluid stops and irreproachable etiquette, ‘Elegant Driving’ has morphed into something a little less fancy to meet the demands of the road in the big city.

“Spank the horn Mummy!” shouts my four-year old from the backseat when she hears me mutter a comment at ‘BUDDY!’ who has just done something annoying.

I don’t panic or freak out anymore and I sort of like driving (except for on the highway, the highway is still terrifying).

There is still one more test I have to pass to get my ‘FULL G’. The ‘FULL G’ involves driving on the highway so I am once again a little afraid. Without it, my license will expire and I will have to start over.

So I am nervous and would love to put it off but I am out of time. Apparently, ten years is a long time to work through three license levels.

I know I can do this and I can’t let fear get in the way.

The test is in three weeks.